Tuesday, January 18, 2005

It's a good feeling to know I have been writing - or should I say rewriting - two out of the last three days. Still working on the first part which I wrote more than 6 months ago, but feeling confident that at last I know what to do with it, how to make it better, fix it, whatever.
I'm on a week's leave from work, making the most of it. And constantly aware of how much time work takes up, and why writers say writing full-time is the only way to produce substantial work. Always a dilemma, unsolvable.
I've been offered the opportunity to write a novel in a fantasy series, and have said yes. I think I can do both, and hope the challenge will keep me working and focused. I still battle every day with procrastination. Yesterday was so productive and I felt good at the end of it, a feeling which stayed with me all evening. But by the time I went to bed at 10pm, it had drained away into self doubt again. Always the "can I do this?" question that pulls me down. How do other writers cope with this?
My best writing friend has just been shortlisted for a mentorship and I am so pleased. She has been totally demoralised for months, thanks to a group of fellow writers (whom I can't name here) who have been what I call hateful to her all year. Several of them even more or less said she had no hope of being selected for this thing. So she has showed them! Good for her. She is a fabulous writer, but lacking in confidence like so many of us (unlike the horrible writers who are totally up themselves).
Today I have decided to do a quick library visit and then start writing. None of this putting it off until after lunch! No more excuses.

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